I have never been to a same sex wedding. I'm not sure many of the people in my age cohort have either. It certainly seems that way, given the questions I'm asked. I noticed some rather odd questions, and then I checked in with my daughter to see what kinds of questions she is asked. Hoo boy. We both agree that people "mean well," but if I may offer a tidbit of advice: think before asking that question. Try to figure out what you really want to know, and then find a way to ask it that doesn't sound...well, so hetero-normative! It's ok to not know all the ins and outs of a queer lifestyle! The important thing is to make sure you don't make the person you're asking questions of feel like a sideshow act. I do not offer the examples below with the intention of belittling the people who asked them. Rather, I think when anyone sees them written out, their awkwardness is immediately apparent. Some examples:
I'd also suggest imagining a world where roles aren't assigned by gender. This can be quite refreshing. For example, my daughter is planning to have her sister and her best friend stand up for her. The best friend? A man! And I for one think that is simply wonderful, to have your bestie, regardless of the sex of that person, be there with you on the big day.
Do *you* have questions? Let me know, and I'll try my best to answer.